I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
