the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
