More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
