i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
