Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
