He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
