break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
