Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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