I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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