we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
