Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
