I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
