you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
