I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
