On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
