its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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