well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
