The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
