I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dear god my vagina.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
