i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
