I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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