I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
