this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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