You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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