woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
