I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
