i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your topless pictures make me question reality
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
