dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
