he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
