if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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