Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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