I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
