Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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