New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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