i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
