I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
