i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
