I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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