i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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