It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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