I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
