I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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