We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
