Got a toothbrush?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
