it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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