You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
