The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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