i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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