he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
