At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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